Hong Kong etiquette: everyday courtesy for visitors

The ideas behind the manners

Respect can be expressed through small actions: acknowledging an older family member, using the name someone gives you, or accepting a gift with care. Hospitality also matters, particularly around a shared table. Meanwhile, limited space makes keeping entrances clear and letting others move through more than minor courtesies.

You may also hear about "face": a person's dignity or standing in the eyes of others. For a visitor, the useful lesson is straightforward. If something goes wrong, explain the problem calmly and give the other person room to resolve it without public humiliation. You can be clear and assertive while remaining courteous.

These influences do not produce one set of rules followed by everyone. A formal family gathering and lunch in a busy café can feel quite different. Let the occasion guide you.

Meeting people and using names

A greeting and a smile are a good beginning. Handshakes are common in professional introductions, but there is no need to initiate one in every social encounter. Follow the other person's lead, particularly with hugs or kisses.

When meeting a family, take care to acknowledge older members rather than directing all your attention to the person you already know. Arrive on time for an invitation, and let your host know if you are delayed.

Use the name and title someone offers. In a formal introduction, a title and family name are a respectful starting point: someone introduced as Chan Yung Sum might be addressed as Mr Chan. If he introduces himself as Peter, using Peter is appropriate.

Chinese family names usually come before given names, although people may arrange their names differently in English. Do not infer a woman's preferred title or surname from her marital status. If you are unsure, simply ask how she would like to be addressed.

Making yourself understood

Cantonese is the main spoken language. English is widely used in tourism, but proficiency varies between individuals and settings. You may find communication easier in a hotel than at a market stall or on a minibus.

Speak clearly, use short sentences and give the other person time to respond. A destination written in Chinese or a saved map pin can help. Ask before handing someone your phone, and avoid treating limited English as a lack of helpfulness.

Two Cantonese expressions are particularly useful:

You do not need a large vocabulary to make an effort. Listen to how people say these expressions and try them when the opportunity arises.

Sharing a meal

Food is an important setting for hospitality and spending time together. At a hosted meal, pause before choosing a seat and follow your host's lead when the food arrives. They may want to seat people in a particular way or invite an older guest to begin.

Take modest portions from shared dishes so that others have a chance to try them. Use serving spoons or serving chopsticks where provided. If you cannot eat something, explain politely; allergies, dietary requirements and appetite are good reasons to decline.

There is no need to deliberately leave food on your plate. Take what you expect to eat, enjoy it and thank your host. If someone offers more when you have had enough, a warm "That was lovely, but I'm full" is sufficient.

Fish and meat often arrive on the bone. Put bones discreetly on a side plate or the plate provided for scraps. Ask for another plate if you need one.

Rest your chopsticks on the holder or neatly beside your bowl. Avoid leaving them upright in rice, a position associated with offerings to the dead. If chopsticks are difficult, asking for a fork or spoon is perfectly reasonable.

Tea and the small courtesies around it

At yum cha and many Chinese restaurant meals, tea accompanies the food. Before filling your own cup, offer to top up the cups within easy reach.

You may see someone tap the table with two fingers when another person pours their tea. This is a customary gesture of thanks, especially convenient during conversation. We find ourselves doing it now without thinking. There is no need to worry about an exact number of taps; saying thank you works too.

Resting the teapot lid partly open is a familiar way to request a refill in many dim sum restaurants. If staff do not notice, catch their attention politely. Tea service varies, so follow what happens at your table.

Busy cafés and shared tables

In a busy cha chaan teng, Hong Kong's everyday café, staff may seat separate parties at the same table. Keep your belongings within your own space and follow the seating arrangements.

Service can be brisk. Have a look at the menu promptly, and remember that a short exchange does not necessarily mean anyone is being unfriendly. If you want to linger after eating, consider whether people are waiting for a table.

Paying and tipping

If someone has invited you as their guest, they may intend to pay. You can offer to contribute, then accept graciously if they insist. Among friends, arrangements vary; agreeing how to divide the bill is often easier than guessing.

Many restaurants add a 10 per cent service charge, while some cafés and diners do not. Check the bill before deciding whether to leave anything extra. An additional tip is generally discretionary; you do not need to add a North American-style percentage automatically.

In a taxi, rounding up is an optional gesture. You can also pay the fare and accept your change.

Visiting someone's home and giving gifts

A small gift is a thoughtful response to an invitation home. Tea, biscuits or fruit can work well, chosen with the household's tastes and dietary needs in mind. An expensive present may create an uncomfortable sense of obligation.

Offer and receive a gift with both hands when practical. The gesture gives the exchange a moment of attention. If you receive a present, thank the giver and follow their lead about opening it; some people prefer gifts to be opened later.

The associations described in our culture guide can matter here. For someone whose preferences you do not know, avoid clocks, sharp objects and arrangements strongly associated with mourning, such as white chrysanthemums. Avoid deliberately choosing a set of four, but there is no need to organise every present around supposedly lucky numbers.

Red packets at Lunar New Year

Lai see are red envelopes containing money, given at Lunar New Year with wishes for good fortune. Giving often reflects relationships: married adults may give to children and unmarried relatives, while employers and residents may give to staff.

A short-stay visitor does not need to distribute red packets routinely. If you are celebrating with a family and would like to participate, ask your host privately about their custom and a suitable amount. Practices vary, and local guidance is more useful than a universal tariff.

Clothing, temples and photographs

Casual clothing is suitable for ordinary sightseeing. For a special restaurant meal or formal invitation, check the dress code or ask your host. Hong Kong has a wide range of styles and settings, so there is little value in trying to dress according to one idea of what "locals" wear.

At temples and other places of worship, choose modest clothing and follow the site's instructions.

Keep your voice low, leave space for worshippers and avoid blocking altars or entrances. Do not touch ritual objects, disturb offerings or step through an arrangement placed on the ground. You can observe respectfully without taking part in a ceremony.

Check photography signs before raising your camera. Ask permission when a person is the subject of your picture, and give worshippers privacy. Avoid close photographs of someone praying unless they have clearly agreed.

Sharing streets and public transport

Crowding is a feature of busy parts of Hong Kong. Accidental contact on a packed train does not necessarily signal rudeness, but it is still worth making space where you can.

Queue where indicated, let passengers leave before boarding, and step aside before checking your phone or opening a map. Keep bags out of the aisle and offer your seat to someone who needs it. Use headphones for audio.

On MTR escalators, follow the operator's safety advice: stand still on either side and hold the handrail. Use a lift with bulky luggage or a pushchair. Although you may see people walking on the left, that is not the behaviour MTR recommends.

Handling misunderstandings

If an order is wrong or a charge seems unexpected, explain what you understood and ask for clarification. Speaking more loudly rarely makes a language difficulty easier.

You can ask for a correction, decline a purchase or request a manager without insulting the person in front of you. If a discussion becomes awkward, moving it away from an audience may help.

Bargaining depends on the setting. In a market where negotiation is welcome, make a reasonable offer and keep the exchange friendly. In shops and restaurants with fixed prices, accept the price or choose somewhere else.

A few rules that carry penalties

Some practical rules are enforceable, rather than matters of custom.

Finding your feet

Our experience is that the most useful habit is to pause and notice. How is your host introducing people? Are dishes being shared? Is someone trying to get past? Is a ceremony taking place?

You will occasionally miss a cue. A brief apology or a friendly question usually gives you a way forward. Leave room for others, acknowledge the care someone has taken over a meal or invitation, and give people's customs the same attention you would hope a guest would give yours.